Christmas Sms & Jokes  Special Edition

The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite

Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge

My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves

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Christmas Jokes Sms & Text Messages

Christmas is not a time nor a season,

but a state of mind.

To cherish peace and goodwill,

to be plenteous in mercy,
is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

Funny Christmas Jokes Sms 2010 an 2011

Free Jokes Sms

A young man at a New Year’s party turns to his friend and asks for a cigarette.
‘I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking,’ his friend says.
‘I’m in the process of quitting,’ the man says.
‘Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.’
‘What’s phase one?’
‘I’ve quit buying.’

–

On New Year’s Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. ‘What are you doing out here at four o’clock in the morning?’ asked the police officer.
‘I’m on my way to a lecture,’ answered Roger.
‘And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year’s Eve?’ enquired the constable sarcastically.
‘My wife,’ slurred Daniel grimly.

On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck – the bartender was almost crushed to death.

As in many homes on New Year’s Day, Steve and his wife the annual conflict of which was more important – the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, Steve ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation, before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.
Several minutes later, his wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for him. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek and asked what the score was. Steve told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing. “See?” she said, continuing to smile, “You didn’t miss a thing.”

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year’s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, ‘I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do you think it all means?’
‘Aha, you’ll know tonight,’ answered Max smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: ‘The meaning of dreams’.

The New Year’s Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous guests coming and going.
At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement.
He sat there happily for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. “You know,” he confided to his host, “I wasn’t even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests’ cars are blocking my driveway.”
The guest continued, “My wife’s been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved.”

more Christmas jokes

Christmas Jokes

May your world be filled with warmth and good chear this Holy season, and throughout the year.Wish your Christmas be filled with peace and love. Merry X-mas

——-

Christmas Jokes 2

May the good times and treasures of the present become the golden memories of tomorrow. Wish you lots of love,  joy and happiness. MARRY CHRISTMAS

Christmas Jokes 3

May the joy and peace of Christmas be with you all through the Year. Wishing you a season of blessings from heaven above. Happy Christmas

Christmas is not a time nor a season,

but a state of mind.

To cherish peace and goodwill,

to be plenteous in mercy,
is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

Latest Christmas Jokes
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Christmas is near,
and its coming,
Be merry!
Be happy!
Have a wonderful Christmas
&
New Year in advance.